It has been suggested by several dear friends (you know who you are) that I begin blogging….so here we go! I guess beginning a new chapter in our life by having a baby is a pretty good reason to become a blogger. Here goes the story of our simple, quiet life before baby and the hectic, wonderful, and busy life to follow.
Our Journey to becoming parents.
Aaron and I began our adoption journey in the final months of 2010. We completed our home study, filled out numerous forms, gathered many documents, and assembled our life’s history along with our hopes and dreams into a large envelope. We mailed it off to our adoption agency. A few days later we got a call that all our paperwork was in order and we were officially “Parents in Waiting”! That was December 28th, 2010.
The first few weeks of being parents in waiting went by agonizingly slow. I jumped every time the phone rang hoping for that call that would change our lives. I even picked out a special (upbeat) ringtone for the agency so I would know it was them calling without looking at the caller ID. As the days passed, December turned into January and January into February with still no phone call. Similar to a deployment, the first few weeks are excruciatingly difficult and seem to pass slower than humanly possible. I’m reminded of LL C.ool J’s version of Einstein's theory of relativity from the movie D.eep B.lue S.ea: “Grab hold of a hot pan, a second can seem like an hour. Put your hands on a hot woman, an hour can seem like a second. It's all relative.”
Needless to say the months passed uneventfully and I threw myself into shopping for neutral colored baby clothes. I think I now own every green, yellow, and cream colored onesie found in stores. I also dove head first into decorating the nursery. I found it almost impossible to decorate a gender neutral nursery that wasn’t “cutesy” or “babyish”. As my hubby likes to say, I’m a nicer and cuter M.artha S.tewart. I shopped every online baby boutique and store in town for just the right bedding. After much consternation, the perfect safari themed bedding was ordered. The walls were painted in a color we named giraffe. The dresser and crib arrived. Finally, the nursery was coming together and the weather was turning warmer. What was I going to do with my time now? How was I going to pass the days until “The Phone Call”?
April
Spring arrived and so did some news. I happened to call our social worker at the agency to ask a few questions and she says “I shouldn’t tell you this but….”. We were picked by a birthmother! She still had to come back into the agency to fill out her paper work and they had not called yet because her profile/paperwork wasn’t complete yet. I cried like a baby as I hung up the phone. I jumped up and down, ran and around the house as tears rolled down my cheeks. This was it! I laughed at myself and cried some more. I didn’t know what to think but I knew what I had to do. I called Aaron at work! Through my tears and excitement I could barely get out the words “We’ve been picked”. Aaron was shocked and speechless. Even at work, it was difficult for him to contain his excitement and maintain his composer. After a few happy minutes on the phone we hung up and then I called my mom. Again, I could barely get the words out through my tears. At first I scared my poor mom to death. She thought something was seriously wrong. It took a few tries to get out the words “we were picked”. She was beyond excited and said she would call later on her way home from work.
After hanging up with my mom, I sat on the couch and let reality sink in. The cautious words of our social worker replayed in my head. We’d been picked. She still had to come in and complete her paperwork/profile. I shouldn’t tell you yet. She should come back in this week. We’ll call with the official word and then send you her profile. She should come back in this week….it was only Monday. I still had four whole days to wait. My excitement quickly faded. Call it a gut feeling or mother’s intuition (Ha!) but, I just knew this wasn’t the one. This wasn’t our baby. I kept these feelings mostly to myself and tried to calm the joy my husband and mother were still exuding by reminding them this wasn’t official yet and she still had to complete her profile and paperwork. But I knew….I just knew.
Despite my sense of knowing, I tried to trick myself and remain cautiously optimistic that she could still come back in this week. As each day passed and Saturday rolled around I stopped denying what I already knew. We were still “Parents in Waiting”.
The rest of April passed uneventfully and I tried not to think of what could have been. I kept moving forward, thinking forward and along came MAY!
The last Friday of April I emailed our social worker to ask her a question. I couldn’t even tell you what I asked her. I secretly wanted an update and I didn’t want to call and “so any news?”. I’m sure she gets that a lot! Anyway, she replied that Friday to my question and I quickly read the response on my phone and put it away for the weekend. Monday morning rolled around and I was on the computer checking my email. I wanted to respond back to her and thank her for answering. That is when I reread her email and the last line jumped out and hit me! “Please call me as soon as you can, I have something to ask you!” Why didn’t I catch this on Friday?? My mind was racing with a thousand thoughts. I quickly dialed the agency’s number….kicking myself for not reading more carefully.
Our social worker said another mother came in last week and wanted to see our profile. However, she didn’t exactly meet our criteria so she wanted to ask before it was shown. On the spot I said YES! Then I called and talked to Aaron and he agreed with my decision. She was set to come back in this week and would view our profile then. Our social worker felt confident this would be a “match” and so did I. I knew this was our baby and I just knew it was a boy! Aaron decided it was a girl. When I asked him how and why he thought that (thinking he might have some kind of psychic ability) he said it was because I said boy and he basically wanted to pick the other to level the field. Men!
Monday, Tuesday, and Wednesday passed without so much as an email or a phone call. I could not take the waiting any longer. As soon as the agency opened on Thursday, I called! Our social worker told me our birthmother (who I will call M) had not been in yet but was scheduled to come in that afternoon at 4:00. It was it going to be a LONG day. I emailed Aaron and told him the news. Our social worker said she would call when M left and let us know one way or the other. At least we wouldn’t be left wondering. As it closed it on 6pm, Aaron called on his way home eager to hear news…..no news yet. I told him I wanted to keep the line open in case they called and promptly hung up the phone. Seconds before 6pm my favorite ring tone alerted me to a call I’d been waiting months for. Our social worker said “Congratulations! She picked you and it’s a BOY! The baby is due in August. We will overnight her profile to you and you have five days to review it. Of course, you can call before then to accept or decline”….and I cried real tears of joy. This is our baby….our son!
Moments after hanging up I heard the garage door open and I ran out to greet my husband. From the look on my face he was sure we had gotten the call, although he wasn’t sure how it had gone. I would have probably been crying either way. So I said the words every man wants to hear “I was right and you were wrong!” A little puzzled I practically screamed right there in the driveway “It’s a BOY!”. It finally sunk in!
We debated telling anyone just yet and when to tell them. We knew it would be almost impossible to keep the secret but we really wanted to see her profile and make sure it was the right match for us too. We’d been picked but it was just the beginning. So we decided to wait. It was quite possibly the hardest thing I’ve ever done when all I wanted to do was scream it from the mountain tops!
Friday they mailed off her packet and we were told we could expect it Saturday via Fed.Ex. Saturday also happened to be our seven year anniversary. Additionally, dear friends of ours invited us to celebrate their son’s first birthday at a party on Saturday. Many of our close friends would be there. How on earth would we, could we keep this a secret? We agreed if we received the packet before the party we could spill the beans. Saturday morning came and no package was delivered. So off we went to the party bursting at the seams with joy and excitement. When we pulled up to their house, we took a deep breath and steeled our emotions. Act normal we said. HOW?
Amazingly we managed to avoid all adoption talk until a friend asked “How are things going? Any news?” As Aaron and I both brushed off the question with a non-descript answer, I swear I had ‘liar’ written all over my face. Luckily, no one caught on and it was cake time. Crisis averted! When Aaron and I got in the car to head home, we both nearly screamed. We agreed that was possibly the hardest thing ever. To keep such a big, important secret from our friends who were so eagerly cheering us along and rooting for us every step of the way was nearly impossible. Neither of us knew how we managed to keep quiet.
Quickly, we raced home hoping our special package had been delivered. There, on the door step waiting...waiting for us was the envelope. Barely in the front door, I opened it as Aaron read over my shoulder. This was it. M is our birthmother and our baby, our son is due in August! AHHHH! What an anniversary present!
We decided to wait to tell our friends until we told our families. My parents and grandmother were coming over for Mother’s Day; which just happened to be on Sunday, the day after our anniversary. I just had to surprise my mom with the news. I bought a special mother’s day card for “Grandma” from the baby.
It was Sunday and it seemed like forever until 4pm arrived. I think I nearly wore a hole in the floor pacing until they rang the doorbell. Knowing Aaron and I would be unable to hold the secret in and keep light, casual conversation through dinner; we decided to give them their gifts first thing. The last envelope I handed my mom was the card from the baby. She had to read it twice before she understood and tears fell down her cheeks. We all shrieked with joy. Finally letting the cat out of the bag, I was truly overcome with excitement and joy. Pure elation! Aaron and I promptly called his Dad and Sister to share in the news. Once our family heard the big news, we told the world…on Facebook of course J
We called and texted friends and we were greeted with enthusiasm and squeals of delight! My sweet friend Kelly screamed on the phone so loudly I had to hold it away from my ear. We were so touched and blessed in the excitement they shared with us. It was so heartwarming. Those at Saturday’s party wanted to know when we found out and how on earth we kept it a secret. Honestly, I’m really not sure how we did it. Thankfully, they all understood and no one (at least that I know of) is upset with us.
As I sit here writing and reliving the tale of how our baby came to be, tears are streaming down my cheeks; tears of joy and unbelievable happiness. I am so truly and utterly blessed. When I think of how my life has unfolded and the journey that has brought me to this point, I’m pretty sure there were some twists and turns that I never saw coming but somehow, some wonderful and amazing way my life is exactly the way it is supposed to be. All I can say…it’s God’s plan and I’m so grateful.
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